Submitter: Anonymous
Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.
ID#:39 | Rating: 196
Submitter: Anonymous
I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives
ID#:175 | Rating: 178
Submitter: Anonymous
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ID#:199 | Rating: 169
Submitter: Anonymous
I put the sexy in dyslexic.
ID#:127 | Rating: 135
Submitter: Anonymous
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
ID#:88 | Rating: 113
Submitter: Anonymous
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
ID#:143 | Rating: 112
Submitter: Anonymous
You\'re like a slinky - completely useless, but fun to push down stairs.
ID#:233 | Rating: 102
Submitter: Anonymous
Baby, I didn't mean it like that... Everybody knows Ho is short for Honey
ID#:227 | Rating: 90
Submitter: Anonymous
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
ID#:190 | Rating: 68
Submitter: Anonymous
Being dyslexic has drawbacks.I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat
ID#:30 | Rating: 60
Submitter: Anonymous
the internet... where women are men and 12 year old boys are FBI agents
ID#:213 | Rating: 51
Submitter: Anonymous
Faith may move mountains but it was the whip that built the pyramids.
ID#:221 | Rating: 44
Submitter: Anonymous
If a schizophrenic person threatens to commit suicide is it a hostage situation?
ID#:228 | Rating: 34
Submitter: Anonymous
If money doesn't grow on trees, how come banks have branches?
ID#:202 | Rating: 31
Submitter: Anonymous
Two hats on a rack, one says to another, "You stay here, I'll go on ahead.
ID#:192 | Rating: 25
Submitter: Anonymous
If you are what you eat then you were what you excrete
ID#:195 | Rating: 24
Submitter: Anonymous
You know you have a small apartment when Coco Pops echo
ID#:142 | Rating: 23
Submitter: Anonymous
The only person to invite you on a round-the-world trip would be the Flat Earth Society.
ID#:229 | Rating: 20
Submitter: Anonymous
Jesus saves souls...and redeems them for valuable prizes.
ID#:222 | Rating: 19
Submitter: Anonymous
Man who smokes weed on toilet is high on pot.
ID#:241 | Rating: 9
Submitter: Anonymous
Man with dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts
ID#:234 | Rating: 7
Submitter: Anonymous
My wife belongs to DAM. Mothers against dyslexia.
ID#:240 | Rating: 6
Submitter: Anonymous
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think
ID#:242 | Rating: 6
Submitter: Anonymous
gang rape. 9 out of 10 agree every time.
ID#:235 | Rating: 2
Submitter: Anonymous
Magic is a tricky thing.
ID#:237 | Rating: -1
Submitter: Anonymous
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
ID#:220 | Rating: -8
Submitter: Anonymous
Catholicism and vegetarianism have mutually exclusive dogmas. Those wafers are the body of christ.
ID#:40 | Rating: -10
Submitter: Anonymous
If it aint broke, fuck with it till it is
ID#:110 | Rating: -11
Submitter: Anonymous
A jump-leads walks into a bar, acting aggresively. The barman says "All right, I'll serve you... but don't start anything."
ID#:132 | Rating: -11
Submitter: Anonymous
I have a special relationship with God. I don't believe he exists, and he doesn't believe I exist.
ID#:97 | Rating: -14
Submitter: Anonymous
There are in fact four types of Jesus. The flavors are cheddar, swiss, mozarella and holy.
ID#:42 | Rating: -18
Submitter: Anonymous
vasectomy and mum shouldn’t be in the same sentence
ID#:82 | Rating: -52
Submitter: Anonymous
eye reli onn spel chek fore evriting know