Submitter:
Hey dude! I named my iPod "The Titanic". Then when I plugged it to the computer it read “The Titanic is synching”
ID#:215 | Rating: 12
Submitter: Weakly News
NEW BRIDGE HELD UP BY RED TAPE
ID#:63 | Rating: 72
Submitter: Doc
I'd like to meet the person who invented sex, and see what they're working on now.
ID#:192 | Rating: 25
Submitter: Anonymous
If you are what you eat then you were what you excrete
ID#:155 | Rating: 50
Submitter: Sniugnep
When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!
ID#:162 | Rating: 147
Submitter: killer
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
ID#:27 | Rating: -22
Submitter: Johnsee
After an oil spill in Antartica, Penguins are now worth $82 a barrel
ID#:75 | Rating: 18
Submitter: Skeleetor
This is almost as enthralling as a tennis match between Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder
ID#:209 | Rating: 16
Submitter: Zarroc
I beat up a whte guy - got charged with GBH. I beat up a black guy - got charged with impersonating a police officer!
ID#:32 | Rating: -30
Submitter: Doc
Why was there no Lebanese boxing team at the Olympics? They pulled out when they heard the fights were 1-on-1.
ID#:120 | Rating: -22
Submitter: Mitchy
If a Cheetah is the fastest land animal why does he get caught in exams?
ID#:118 | Rating: -27
Submitter: Mike
People are idiots, Stick to nothing.
ID#:55 | Rating: 18
Submitter: Doc
The most effective copyright protection known to man: a scratched CD.
ID#:36 | Rating: 48
Submitter: Johnsee
For Xmas I want Santa's list of naughty girls.
ID#:97 | Rating: -14
Submitter: Anonymous
There are in fact four types of Jesus. The flavors are cheddar, swiss, mozarella and holy.
ID#:157 | Rating: 35
Submitter: ZKato
I'm putting the "Sensual" in "Non-Consensual"
ID#:88 | Rating: 113
Submitter: Anonymous
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
ID#:177 | Rating: -16
Submitter: T. Sehgal
You can't have "manslaughter" without "laughter"
ID#:151 | Rating: 57
Submitter: killer
That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn!
ID#:7 | Rating: -3
Submitter: Doc
Firemen always have plenty of hoes.
ID#:104 | Rating: 47
Submitter: Granty
Duct tape is like ‘the force, it has a dark side, a light side and it holds the universe together
ID#:5 | Rating: 367
Submitter: Doc
The Internet: All the piracy, none of the scurvy.
ID#:137 | Rating: 136
Submitter: Hmmm
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
ID#:115 | Rating: -12
Submitter: Mitch
Women are like wild animals, if you keep feeding them, they'll keep coming back for more!
ID#:79 | Rating: 122
Submitter: Skeleetor
Girls are like paladins, they get mounts for free :(
ID#:131 | Rating: 394
Submitter: Mitch
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't
ID#:238 | Rating: 4
Submitter: Amomynus
Why do they call them apartments if they're all together?
ID#:53 | Rating: -18
Submitter: Doc
*Insert funny MSN name here.
ID#:231 | Rating: 94
Submitter: Chilv
What do you call a psychic midget that escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
ID#:30 | Rating: 60
Submitter: Anonymous
the internet... where women are men and 12 year old boys are FBI agents
ID#:200 | Rating: 78
Submitter: ss4199
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
ID#:54 | Rating: -31
Submitter: Doc
Girls, n: They are said to be deadly & have been known to ruin lives with 4 simple words, "let's just be friends."
ID#:111 | Rating: 18
Submitter: Keys
brb has lost all meaning... since when did brb mean "be back in 4 hours after lunch"
ID#:191 | Rating: 21
Submitter: thedude
I told the butcher I'd give him £10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't. The steaks were too high
ID#:71 | Rating: 837
Submitter: Doc
You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.
ID#:64 | Rating: 15
Submitter: Doc
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
ID#:196 | Rating: -17
Submitter: Davey Danger
I went too a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered frenchtoast during the renaissance.
ID#:236 | Rating: 5
Submitter: razor cc atu
Procrastination is like masturbation; It's all fun and games until you realize you're just fucking yourself.
ID#:109 | Rating: 21
Submitter: Mitch
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
ID#:39 | Rating: 196
Submitter: Anonymous
I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives
ID#:19 | Rating: 6
Submitter: Doc
Coming Soon... Law & Order PCAMPIEOFTD: Petty Crimes Against Municipal Property In Excess Of Five Thousand Dollars
ID#:168 | Rating: 730
Submitter: Lyndsey 247
Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.
ID#:37 | Rating: -39
Submitter: Doc
My other MSN name has a joke in it.
ID#:60 | Rating: 7
Submitter: Doc
what WOULDN'T Jesus Do?
ID#:190 | Rating: 68
Submitter: Anonymous
Being dyslexic has drawbacks.I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat
ID#:217 | Rating: 21
Submitter: FunnelWeb
I'm so confused I'm not sure if I lost my horse or found a rope
ID#:67 | Rating: 73
Submitter: Johnsee
This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home...
ID#:244 | Rating: 7
Submitter: Ph3
Necrophelia: the irresistable urge to crack open a cold one.
ID#:73 | Rating: -10
Submitter: Johnsee
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?”
ID#:134 | Rating: 653
Submitter: firestarter
Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a minute; set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.