Submitter: Ph3
Necrophelia: the irresistable urge to crack open a cold one.
ID#:243 | Rating: 4
Submitter: daddy-o
what does a dyslexic atheist insomniac do? lies awake at night wondering if there really is a doG.
ID#:242 | Rating: 6
Submitter: Anonymous
gang rape. 9 out of 10 agree every time.
ID#:241 | Rating: 9
Submitter: Anonymous
Man with dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts
ID#:240 | Rating: 6
Submitter: Anonymous
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think
ID#:239 | Rating: 6
Submitter:
Hey dude! I named my iPod "The Titanic". Then when I plugged it to the computer it read “The Titanic is synching”
ID#:238 | Rating: 4
Submitter: Amomynus
Why do they call them apartments if they're all together?
ID#:237 | Rating: -1
Submitter: Anonymous
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
ID#:236 | Rating: 5
Submitter: razor cc atu
Procrastination is like masturbation; It's all fun and games until you realize you're just fucking yourself.
ID#:235 | Rating: 2
Submitter: Anonymous
Magic is a tricky thing.
ID#:234 | Rating: 6
Submitter: Anonymous
My wife belongs to DAM. Mothers against dyslexia.
ID#:233 | Rating: 102
Submitter: Anonymous
Baby, I didn't mean it like that... Everybody knows Ho is short for Honey
ID#:232 | Rating: 101
Submitter: Pindi
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
ID#:231 | Rating: 94
Submitter: Chilv
What do you call a psychic midget that escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
ID#:230 | Rating: 48
Submitter: Bloxor
Studies have shown that 1 in every 49.5 people is an amputee.
ID#:229 | Rating: 20
Submitter: Anonymous
Jesus saves souls...and redeems them for valuable prizes.
ID#:228 | Rating: 34
Submitter: Anonymous
If money doesn't grow on trees, how come banks have branches?
ID#:227 | Rating: 91
Submitter: Anonymous
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
ID#:226 | Rating: 55
Submitter: JonahTheWhale
I used to be into bestiality, necrophelia and BDSM. Then I realised I was just flogging a dead horse.
ID#:225 | Rating: 11
Submitter: AmishDave
My classmates and I thought about revolting against math but decided we wouldn't have the numbers
ID#:224 | Rating: 64
Submitter: JD280
The only reason Barbie never got pregnant, was Ken came in a different box.
ID#:223 | Rating: 16
Submitter: Akira
People say that I'm stubborn but I insist that I'm not. They eventually give in to me.
ID#:222 | Rating: 19
Submitter: Anonymous
Man who smokes weed on toilet is high on pot.
ID#:221 | Rating: 42
Submitter: Anonymous
If a schizophrenic person threatens to commit suicide is it a hostage situation?
ID#:220 | Rating: -8
Submitter: Anonymous
Catholicism and vegetarianism have mutually exclusive dogmas. Those wafers are the body of christ.
ID#:219 | Rating: 25
Submitter: Damion420
Feed a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day...Feed a fish a man and you'll feed him for weeks
ID#:218 | Rating: 35
Submitter: GNARLY DUDE!
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a carton. Coincidence? I think not!
ID#:217 | Rating: 22
Submitter: FunnelWeb
I'm so confused I'm not sure if I lost my horse or found a rope
ID#:216 | Rating: 90
Submitter: Weakly News
TORNADO RIPS THROUGH CEMETARY, HUNDREDS DEAD
ID#:215 | Rating: 11
Submitter: Weakly News
NEW BRIDGE HELD UP BY RED TAPE
ID#:214 | Rating: 57
Submitter: wvandyne
If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what about humanitarians?
ID#:213 | Rating: 50
Submitter: Anonymous
Faith may move mountains but it was the whip that built the pyramids.
ID#:212 | Rating: 59
Submitter: ebenmill
Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk.
ID#:211 | Rating: 0
Submitter: BuddyChrist
Jesus died for your sins, but rose for your brains.
ID#:210 | Rating: -40
Submitter: goose000
There are two muffins in an oven, one muffin say "damn its hot in here" then the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin!"
ID#:209 | Rating: 17
Submitter: Zarroc
I beat up a whte guy - got charged with GBH. I beat up a black guy - got charged with impersonating a police officer!
ID#:208 | Rating: 32
Submitter: Skyscraper
I used to think I was indecisive but now I'm not so sure.
ID#:207 | Rating: 55
Submitter: Skyscraper
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
ID#:206 | Rating: 42
Submitter: Daanigma
Never trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.
ID#:205 | Rating: 9
Submitter: CasperXX
If a man argues in the woods and he is alone- is his wife STILL right ?
ID#:204 | Rating: -23
Submitter: Reyali
When life gives you AIDS, make lemonaids!
ID#:203 | Rating: 124
Submitter: That guy
Girls are like square numbers, if they're under 13 just do them in your head.
ID#:202 | Rating: 30
Submitter: Anonymous
Two hats on a rack, one says to another, "You stay here, I'll go on ahead.
ID#:201 | Rating: 69
Submitter: coupland
In retrospect, I suppose "supercalafragalisticexpialadocious" wasn't a great "safe word..."
ID#:200 | Rating: 77
Submitter: ss4199
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
ID#:199 | Rating: 168
Submitter: Anonymous
I put the sexy in dyslexic.
ID#:198 | Rating: 18
Submitter: Kidman007
I am a part of DNA... the National Dyslexic Association
ID#:197 | Rating: 16
Submitter: Rio
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told that bitch twice!
ID#:196 | Rating: -17
Submitter: Davey Danger
I went too a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered frenchtoast during the renaissance.
ID#:195 | Rating: 24
Submitter: Anonymous
You know you have a small apartment when Coco Pops echo